Monday, December 7, 2009

Nurturing Peace

This meeting was completely wonderful. I really felt inspired and ready to go home and make a difference. For all of those unable to go, here are some of the things that were mentioned. My notes are by no means comprehensive, so everyone who was there, please fill in the gaps!

We started out with an awesome analogy comparing practicing yoga, to life. Carrie led us through some relaxing yoga moves, then explained three yoga guidelines that really set the tone for the rest of the meeting: (Carrie, please feel free to change these according to what they actually say in the book)

Comparing Yoga to Life:
1. Know and respect your limitations. Don't push yourself beyond what you can possibly do - be gentle with yourself and your limitations, as well as with others' limitations.

2. Be honest with yourself. You know how much you can do. Make sure you do it.

3. Practice the exercises (or in our case, whatever task may be), without resentment. Do it willingly, happily, and because you want to.

Here are some of the other precious treasures of wisdom that were shared. (again, this is according to my notes, so please anyone, feel free to change according to what was actually said!)

Nurturing Peace in Your Home:
*The cost of the conflict is not worth the cost of the relationship

*Turn little arguments around - COMMUNICATE how you feel.
-Step back from the situation and move it to "I". Be able to recognize and say, "What you said/did/etc. makes me feel......"

*In an disagreement, be willing to back down because the other persons' feelings are sincerely more important than the issue at hand. (And it doesn't work if the "I'm being the bigger person by giving in", or "martyr attitude", is the motive.)

*Communicate - don't wait for things to escalate

*Sometimes kids act out to try to satisfy or fulfill an unmet need they have - example: fighting with a sibling because they need mom to pay more attention to them. Try to fill the need, of course, beforehand is ideal...but realistically...a lot of times it goes unnoticed until after the incident!).

*Idea for helping keep older children on 'your team': "Today I really need your help teaching (insert name of other, probably younger, child) how to be quite during church, or pick up their toys, or whatever it might be".

*Kids can do and help with lots of things - we maybe just need to change our expectations on how the job will turn out. (Example: they can help put away the laundry...but it might not be put away perfectly folded and in the right spot.)

*When you are at the end of your rope, here are a few suggestions to try:

1. "Would you like (insert whatever appropriate punishment), or would you like a hug?"

2. Even better, mommy says, "I need a hug". This works great also to prevent reaching the end of the rope. (Fulfills the need to feel loved....except this time, for the mom!)

3. "Please kneel down with me, we need to say a prayer."

*We aren't perfect at everything about being a mom, but we CAN be 100% perfect in letting our kids know we love them.

*And here is the quote on Charity that I completely slaughtered, so I wanted to put it up here so you would know what it actually says: =)

"Real charity is not something you give away; it is something that you acquire and make a part of yourself. And when the virtue of charity becomes implanted in your heart, you are never the same again. It makes the thought of being a basher [speaking ill of someone] repulsive. Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don't judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is expecting someone's differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn't handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another's weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other."
-Elder Marvin J. Ashton

Christmas Ideas:

* Have a Thankful Box: write things you are thankful for and put them in a special box under the tree. Open the box and read everything before you open presents on Christmas morning.

* Have everyone write nice letters to express their love to everyone else in the family.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Daddy Dollars

Here's the website where I printed off the Daddy Dollars:

http://www.festisite.com/money/

It's super easy and pretty fun. When Justin first saw me doing it, he looked pretty concerned. I asked him what was the matter and he very coyly (is that word?) said, "Mom, I don't think the stores are going to like it if you try to buy things with those." Maybe he has a bright future in the Treasury Department. :-)

Happy Monday!

Friday, November 6, 2009

Nurturing Gratitude

Here's a list of what I remember from our discussion.

Thankful Tree-each night leading up to Thanksgiving, write things you're thankful for on leaves and attach to tree.
Gratitude garland-for Thanksgiving Day. Have guests write things they're thankful for on leaves and attach to garland.
Thanksgiving Extravaganza-grab a small handful of corn kernels, throw each kernel into a body of water while saying/yelling out what you're thankful for.
Service.
Model gratitude. Express gratitude. Thank your children and talk about them in positive ways.
Try to see the best side of things & people. Nitpicking DOES NOT show gratitude for spouse.

Feel free to add or expound. Also, about service: in the comments, please write ideas for service.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Thank you for labeling your posts!

It makes it so easy to find posts in the archives. At least include your name. Thanks!

Giving away bread

Here's the link for the site I mentioned last night about giving baked goods to members of the community you want to show appreciation for. Spread the bread.

Christening the blog

I thought our first Mothering Meet & Treat was great! Thank you for coming and contributing.

Lindsey, I mean WE, decided that I should start a blog for afterthoughts and addendums. We probably won't post notes from the meetings (unless someone would like to be Historian. That would be great, by the way.)