We started out with an awesome analogy comparing practicing yoga, to life. Carrie led us through some relaxing yoga moves, then explained three yoga guidelines that really set the tone for the rest of the meeting: (Carrie, please feel free to change these according to what they actually say in the book)
Comparing Yoga to Life:
1. Know and respect your limitations. Don't push yourself beyond what you can possibly do - be gentle with yourself and your limitations, as well as with others' limitations.
2. Be honest with yourself. You know how much you can do. Make sure you do it.
3. Practice the exercises (or in our case, whatever task may be), without resentment. Do it willingly, happily, and because you want to.
Here are some of the other precious treasures of wisdom that were shared. (again, this is according to my notes, so please anyone, feel free to change according to what was actually said!)
Nurturing Peace in Your Home:
*The cost of the conflict is not worth the cost of the relationship
*Turn little arguments around - COMMUNICATE how you feel.
-Step back from the situation and move it to "I". Be able to recognize and say, "What you said/did/etc. makes me feel......"
*In an disagreement, be willing to back down because the other persons' feelings are sincerely more important than the issue at hand. (And it doesn't work if the "I'm being the bigger person by giving in", or "martyr attitude", is the motive.)
*Communicate - don't wait for things to escalate
*Sometimes kids act out to try to satisfy or fulfill an unmet need they have - example: fighting with a sibling because they need mom to pay more attention to them. Try to fill the need, of course, beforehand is ideal...but realistically...a lot of times it goes unnoticed until after the incident!).
*Idea for helping keep older children on 'your team': "Today I really need your help teaching (insert name of other, probably younger, child) how to be quite during church, or pick up their toys, or whatever it might be".
*Kids can do and help with lots of things - we maybe just need to change our expectations on how the job will turn out. (Example: they can help put away the laundry...but it might not be put away perfectly folded and in the right spot.)
*When you are at the end of your rope, here are a few suggestions to try:
1. "Would you like (insert whatever appropriate punishment), or would you like a hug?"
2. Even better, mommy says, "I need a hug". This works great also to prevent reaching the end of the rope. (Fulfills the need to feel loved....except this time, for the mom!)
3. "Please kneel down with me, we need to say a prayer."
*We aren't perfect at everything about being a mom, but we CAN be 100% perfect in letting our kids know we love them.
*And here is the quote on Charity that I completely slaughtered, so I wanted to put it up here so you would know what it actually says: =)
"Real charity is not something you give away; it is something that you acquire and make a part of yourself. And when the virtue of charity becomes implanted in your heart, you are never the same again. It makes the thought of being a basher [speaking ill of someone] repulsive. Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don't judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is expecting someone's differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn't handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another's weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other."
-Elder Marvin J. Ashton
-Elder Marvin J. Ashton
Christmas Ideas:
* Have a Thankful Box: write things you are thankful for and put them in a special box under the tree. Open the box and read everything before you open presents on Christmas morning.
* Have everyone write nice letters to express their love to everyone else in the family.
Kaylyn, I am DEEPLY grateful that you wrote this. Thank you. I took some notes and never got around to posting them--plus my computer is totally caput now.
ReplyDeleteI'm the control-freak who posted your name as one of the labels so we can find posts according to author, too. (I'm working by the "ask forgiveness later instead of permission now" mantra.)
Your notes are excellent. If only I knew where mine were...
Thanks again for this post.